It’s never a good feeling when one of your favorite bands takes a turn for the worse. I don’t mean health wise…I mean music wise. They put out an album or release a song that just makes you go, “What the f*ck were they thinking?” More commonly known as “jumping the shark,” these moments (or periods) of musical farts can make the most loyal fan turn their nose up in digust.
While sitting at work the other day amidst a snow storm from hell, my friend (who remained in the comfort and warmth of his own home to work), sent me an interesting article about musicians who have jumped the shark:
The list was interesting and humorous for sure, but it left me pondering (instead of working), “What bands whom I love have jumped the shark?” And so the list starts…in no particular order:
1. Metallica – Once you go Black, you can’t go back. That’s right, Metallica took a nose dive into the toilet after this album. I HATE everything they released after the Black album. The exception of course is their newest album, which surprisingly doesn’t suck as badly as I thought it would. I think they finally came to the realization that they rocked A LOT harder back in the day and (to the glee of most music fans) decided to turn back the hands of time and produce an album that sounded a lot more like the old Metallica we know and love. Kudos to them for trying to right their wrongs.
2. Van Halen – Look, it’s never an easy task to replace your lead singer. As far as I’m concerned, a band should call it quits if their singer bails. There are very few cases in rock & roll history where a new lead singer has been able to continue carrying the torch of his predecessor. Van Halen surprisingly made things work with Sammy Hagar, but I have no idea what the hell they were thinking when they tried to replace both David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar with Gary Cherone. After Sammy, they should have just stopped. Continuing on with Gary Cherone was like trying to fit a square peg into a circle; it just wasn’t going to work. And it didn’t. Gary Cherone was bad and that album was bad. I’m even a huge fan of Gary Cherone; I’m just not a huge fan of him in Van Halen.
3. KISS – There are SO many “jump the shark” moments to chose from. Some of you would pick the moment KISS took off their make up. Or maybe you would chose when KISS went disco. Perhaps Gene Simmons doing his reality show really set you off. Whatever it is, take your pick. My jump the shark moment for KISS may not be a moment so much as a whole period. There is no doubt that KISS is legendary, amazing, and one of the most influential bands in rock history. However, it’s heartbreaking for me when KISS the band decides to turn into KISS the money making machine. Is it even about the music anymore? Was it ever about the music? Or was it just about how many KISS condoms or KISS coffins they could sell?
4. Kid Rock – One of the reasons I actually like Kid Rock is because of his fusion of rock and country. He’s shared the stage with the likes of some of country music’s most influential musicians like Hank Jr., but Mr. Bawitdaba threw me for a loop when he recorded a duet with Kenny Chesney for a Waylon Jennings tribute album: I’ve Always Been Crazy. These guys covered “Luckenbach, Texas” and Kenny Chesney ruins it. I HATE Kenny Chesney. I think he’s a hack and a joke. His music is crap, and it’s hard for me to understand why Kid Rock thought he was good enough to collaborate with. I hope it was the workings of some music industry kooks who threw these two together, and that it wasn’t by choice.
5. Bret Michaels – This one is a no brainer. The second this guy signed on to do Rock of Love, he also jumped the shark. Now that it’s dragged on for three seasons, I’m almost positive that he’s trying to ruin his career…or make the entire world think he’s a douchebag. Either way, it’s working.
6. Nikki Sixx – He went straight from jumping the shark to jumping Kat Von D (and not me). Damn it. What does he see in her? She’s smokin’ hot, almost half his age, uber cool, super successful, and is an incredible tattoo artist. What man looks for those qualities in a chick? Now I have to witness their over indulgent love fest while I’ll cyber stalking him on myspace. It’s disgusting. I wish he’d go back to his womanizing ways.
I’m sure some of you will agree, and a lot of you will disagree (especially with #3). So what do you think? Did I leave anyone out? Did I include anyone who should have been left off the list? Who do you think has jumped the shark?