Rock Whiplash by Christine Sixx – “Jump The Shark”
It’s never a good feeling when one of your favorite bands takes a turn for the worse. I don’t mean health wise…I mean music wise. They put out an album or release a song that just makes you go, “What the f*ck were they thinking?” More commonly known as “jumping the shark,” these moments (or periods) of musical farts can make the most loyal fan turn their nose up in digust.
While sitting at work the other day amidst a snow storm from hell, my friend (who remained in the comfort and warmth of his own home to work), sent me an interesting article about musicians who have jumped the shark:
https://new.music.yahoo.com/blogs/getback/80287/musicians-whove-jumped-the-shark/
The list was interesting and humorous for sure, but it left me pondering (instead of working), “What bands whom I love have jumped the shark?” And so the list starts…in no particular order:
1. Metallica – Once you go Black, you can’t go back. That’s right, Metallica took a nose dive into the toilet after this album. I HATE everything they released after the Black album. The exception of course is their newest album, which surprisingly doesn’t suck as badly as I thought it would. I think they finally came to the realization that they rocked A LOT harder back in the day and (to the glee of most music fans) decided to turn back the hands of time and produce an album that sounded a lot more like the old Metallica we know and love. Kudos to them for trying to right their wrongs.
2. Van Halen – Look, it’s never an easy task to replace your lead singer. As far as I’m concerned, a band should call it quits if their singer bails. There are very few cases in rock & roll history where a new lead singer has been able to continue carrying the torch of his predecessor. Van Halen surprisingly made things work with Sammy Hagar, but I have no idea what the hell they were thinking when they tried to replace both David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar with Gary Cherone. After Sammy, they should have just stopped. Continuing on with Gary Cherone was like trying to fit a square peg into a circle; it just wasn’t going to work. And it didn’t. Gary Cherone was bad and that album was bad. I’m even a huge fan of Gary Cherone; I’m just not a huge fan of him in Van Halen.
3. KISS – There are SO many “jump the shark” moments to chose from. Some of you would pick the moment KISS took off their make up. Or maybe you would chose when KISS went disco. Perhaps Gene Simmons doing his reality show really set you off. Whatever it is, take your pick. My jump the shark moment for KISS may not be a moment so much as a whole period. There is no doubt that KISS is legendary, amazing, and one of the most influential bands in rock history. However, it’s heartbreaking for me when KISS the band decides to turn into KISS the money making machine. Is it even about the music anymore? Was it ever about the music? Or was it just about how many KISS condoms or KISS coffins they could sell?
4. Kid Rock – One of the reasons I actually like Kid Rock is because of his fusion of rock and country. He’s shared the stage with the likes of some of country music’s most influential musicians like Hank Jr., but Mr. Bawitdaba threw me for a loop when he recorded a duet with Kenny Chesney for a Waylon Jennings tribute album: I’ve Always Been Crazy. These guys covered “Luckenbach, Texas” and Kenny Chesney ruins it. I HATE Kenny Chesney. I think he’s a hack and a joke. His music is crap, and it’s hard for me to understand why Kid Rock thought he was good enough to collaborate with. I hope it was the workings of some music industry kooks who threw these two together, and that it wasn’t by choice.
5. Bret Michaels – This one is a no brainer. The second this guy signed on to do Rock of Love, he also jumped the shark. Now that it’s dragged on for three seasons, I’m almost positive that he’s trying to ruin his career…or make the entire world think he’s a douchebag. Either way, it’s working.
6. Nikki Sixx – He went straight from jumping the shark to jumping Kat Von D (and not me). Damn it. What does he see in her? She’s smokin’ hot, almost half his age, uber cool, super successful, and is an incredible tattoo artist. What man looks for those qualities in a chick? Now I have to witness their over indulgent love fest while I’ll cyber stalking him on myspace. It’s disgusting. I wish he’d go back to his womanizing ways.
I’m sure some of you will agree, and a lot of you will disagree (especially with #3). So what do you think? Did I leave anyone out? Did I include anyone who should have been left off the list? Who do you think has jumped the shark?
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Hard Rock Hideout 
KISS – I am huge KISS fan and I agree that they have jumped the shark but I would say that it was around the time of the “farewell tour” that never ended. It was one thing to reunite with makeup, then tour for a pseudo “farewell” tour, but they never ended that tour. It went on for years literally. Take the makeup off! I truly believe that if Gene would stop being such a salesman, he could sit down seriously with Paul and write some music that could be on par with the “Revenge” era material. Paul Stanley could still write and perform great songs…he’s the man. Unfortunately, they both refused to record new stuff until recently. Psycho Circus had a few good songs on it but it is by no means a classic KISS album.
NIKKI never jumped the shark ever. ROCK GOD!
Bret jumped the shark when they started releasing sub-par material.
Van Halen jumped totally when they got Sammy Hagar. I know how popular he was with them but it was never a good match for me. If you grew up LOVING, OBSESSING, EMULATING David Lee Roth from VH then Hagar seemed like some hack job who couldn’t hold a candle to the originality that DLR brought to the band. Don’t get me wrong…Hagar alone and with Montrose is kick-ass but not with VH. I tried my best to like the addition of Cherone but as I look back …it was just the idea of getting new VH material that turned me on. Plus I dig Extreme.
LOL
Aerosmith is a good one that I left off the list because…well, it hurts so much that I can’t even talk about it. 😉
As for Nikki Sixx…JT, I totally agree with you. I think Nikki Sixx should be inducted into the RnR HOF with or without Motley Crue. I was just being a bitter, jealous bitch in my rant. I don’t really hate Nikki or think he jumped the shark at all; I’m just jealous I’m not jumping him! 😉
Metallica – I hated the Black album. The first three albums were great, the fourth was so-so, Black sucked hard. Load and Re-Load are good albums for what they are, but they aren’t classic Metallica.
Van Halen – I loved the III album. The only Sammy album I liked was Balance. Other than that, total trash. I’m so glad they are back with Dave now, though, and working on new material.
KISS – Not sure. I’d say when they dumped Ace and Peter the second time. Although you might be able to make a case for “Music from the Elder”
Kid Rock – still has it. I haven’t heard the Kenny Chesney duet, so I won’t comment on that other than to say that I agree he is a worthless “entertainer” (no way I would call him a singer).
Bret Michaels – Yup. Get off the TV, back into the recording studio dude.
Nikki Sixx – You lost me on that one. The man rocks. Period. Everything he has done, including the Meat Loaf songs, are phenomenal. He should be inducted into the RnR HOF whether the Crue gets in or not.
Unfortunately, the 1980’s caused several great bands to jump the shark musically.
Let’s start with ZZ Top. Sure, the Eliminator and Afterburner albums skyrocketed their popularity with the masses, but in the process, totally compromised the quality of their music. gone was the Texas drum groove of frank beard, the understated blues-tinged solos of Billy gibbons, and the unexpected chord changes and rhythmic breakdowns that made their 70s releases so interesting. In the 80s, they just turned on the drum machine, chugged along on the same chord, and let their videos do the work. don’t get me wrong, I still think ZZ Top are the epitome of cool, but they’ve never been able to record anything new that comes close to everything they did before Eliminator.
then let’s talk about the J. Geils Band. In the 70s, they cranked out some of the best soulful, funky, bluesy party music in the bidness. How they went from “Detroit Breakdown” to “Freeze Frame” is beyond me, but again, as with ZZ Top, compromizing their sound brought them tons of popularity with the masses.
How about Journey? they started out as a progressive rock outfit, but once they leaped over the shark and became a ballad machine with Steve Perry, they too enjoyed huge mainstream success. the same can be said for Chicago and Styx.
And don’t even get me started on Aerosmith…From “Lord Of The Thighs” to “I don’t Want To Miss A thing”…’Nuff said!
Ok..here goes….
With Metallica,..yeah, I agree, once the Black album came out, they NEVER returned to where they ” once ” were….never came close. The new album comes very close, I do like it ( hate the distortion ), but oddly enough it still doesn’t touch the magic that ” Kill Em All “, ” Master..”, ” Ride The Lightning ” or ” And Justice…” has.
Van Halen w/Gary Cherone..never bothered to even listen to that album w/him. Hated Extreme. Case closed.
KISS…I love ’em. Love the tunes….mostly the older stuff, but I got all thier shit. Do they have WAY TOO MUCH merchandise ?? Most definately!!!!!!!!
The Kid Rock thing w/Chesney..ain’t heard it yet. I do like Kid Rock’s stuff,..almost all of it. I dig his rock/rap/country vibe, big time. But like I said, I ain’t heard the collaboratin w/Chesney yet.
Nikki Sixx….I like old Crue, like Metallica, after” Girls, Girls, Girls “..they never returned…a few tunes, but that’s all. And I don’t give a shit who Sixx is bangin’….I’d do her too. lol !
Brett Michaels….gimme a fuckin’ break !!! No comment !!!!