You probably remember hearing “The Safety Dance” by Men Without Hats or “Focus” by Hocus Pocus at some point in your life. Most likely you heard these songs and thought they were freaking amazing, even though they may have been about the oddest songs you’ve ever heard.”It’s safe to dance?” Really? I still remember the first time I heard “Focus.” The song was so odd, yet I could not bring myself to turn it off.
And then after it was finished, I immediately wanted to listen to it again. As weird as it was, the song was still magnificent in its own right. Rock and roll has a lot of songs like that. They are the strangest things we’ve ever listened to, yet they are so enjoyable that we want to hear them over and over again. I’ve decided to reminisce for this edition of Vie’s Verses. Take a stroll down memory lane with me as I try to recall the oddest hard rock songs that still rocked like no other.
David Lee Roth – Hot Dog And A Shake
After parting ways with Van Halen, Diamond Dave went out on his own and released a fantastic album in Eat ‘Em And Smile. He then followed that up with the brilliant Skyscraper. The addition of Billy Sheehan and Steve Vai as band members only added to the greatness of each of these records. And while not every song was a huge hit or an unforgettable anthem, there was always one song that stood out to me as a great tune that I never understood lyrically—“Hot Dog And A Shake.” According to Dave, that’s what you’re hungry for. And while the lyrics may be ultra-corny, the music was so fabulous, that I found myself singing along after just a few listens. Steve Vai’s solo is one of the greatest on the entire album and the riff just made this song so addicting. And yet, it’s about hot dogs and shakes. To this day, I still move my feet and sing along whenever I hear this tune. And yes, I know there are plenty of innuendos in this song. 13 year old me, did not, Okay?
Queen – Bicycle Race
When it comes to Queen, there are several songs that could be chosen as odd and yet still addicting. “Fat Bottomed Girls” came to mind immediately, and while that is a weird song, there are plenty of men with a fetish for big bottomed women. To me, “Bicycle Race” was always the strangest Queen song I had ever heard. And yet, I loved it as much as I loved “Another One Bites The Dust,” and “We Will Rock You.” All Freddie Mercury wants to do is ride his bicycle—yes he wants to ride his bike. “Bicycle Race” could lyrically be one of the dumbest songs in existence, and yet Queen made it a memorable hit that I still enjoy.
White Zombie – Thunder Kiss ’65
I think the biggest part of what makes this song so odd is the fact that without looking up the lyrics, I have no idea what Rob Zombie is singing. Whenever I hear the song I sing along as such: “Blah, blah, meh, meh… NINETEEN SIXTY FIVE…YEAH!!!” Looking at the lyrics to the song just makes me more confused. Pig sweat a million miles? I’ve got a heart atomic style? What the hell does all of that mean? Truthfully, it doesn’t really matter, because “Thunder Kiss ‘65” is one of the hardest rocking songs I’ve ever heard and I will always scream “NINETEEN SIXTY…FIVE…YEAH!” at the top of my lungs any time this song is played within my general vicinity. Zombie may be strange, but he’s a master when it comes to music (and horror movies).
I’m The Man – Anthrax
At the end of the 80s, rap and metal came together and in a creative outburst, “I’m The Man” was born. As a pre-teen, this was one of the coolest songs I had ever heard and it made me fall in love with Anthrax. As a well-seasoned hard rock loving adult, I think the song is just plain silly. And yet, secretly, I still listen to it every now and again to make sure that I remember the lyrics—don’t worry, I do. The song was meant to be campy and comical, and it certainly succeeded in that regard, but the song was also a great rocking tune. Everyone wanted to sing along when this song came on. Everyone. So we learned the lyrics and did our part. To this day I still know the sexual organ located in the lower abdominal area…..! No man, it’s, dick! Not! Not!
Baby Snakes – Hurricane
This is a song about a high school guy that fails miserably in trying to attract a girl he is lusting after, as told through telephone conversations and jaw dropping guitar solos. This song basically summed up my freshman year of high school, so naturally the first time I heard it I was in tears from laughing so hard. Jenny is the subject of the narrator’s lust interest, and as the song opens he is psyching himself up that today is his lucky day, he’s going to ask her to go out and she’s going to say yes. And in his nervous confused state, he dials the wrong number. Enter hard hitting drums by Jay Schellen and some amazing guitar riffs from Robert Sarzo. “Baby Snakes” takes off from there, documenting the failed attempts of the narrator continuing to call Jenny and annoy her to no end. Cleverly put together, “Baby Snakes” remains one of the oddest, yet coolest, rock songs that I have ever heard. If you’ve never heard the song, you need to seek it out. It’s worth the effort.
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